Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Round 2 Begins

Today we started round 2 of Jacksons chemotherapy. He has already gotten one drug and another is being administered as I type (it takes 4 hours to get all of it into his system). Tonight will be a long night of waking every two hours to make Jack go pee. The big chemo that he is getting tonight is called Methotrexate- it is the Big Nasty Drug. Because we have had it before we know that it causes Jackson horrible mouth sores, and lots of vomiting. He also got another drug tonight that we know causes bone pain and stomach issues.

Here the nurses are checking to make sure they are giving Jackson the right chemo.

Even knowing what we are facing I am still filled with hope.

Today was such a great day. We went to the zoo and then we were so lucky to be invited to go to the U of U hospital and have a tour of the AirMed helicopter. We felt so spoiled and got first class treatment by Jared (the air-medic).

Today at the hospital was also probably my favorite day so far. Jackson and I laughed and played a memory game (at first I thought I would let him win, but pretty soon I found I had to really struggle to keep up- that kid has an AMAZING memory!!). We made a lady bug out of beads and boondoggle. I really enjoyed just being with him today. I enjoyed seeing him have energy and walk to the bathroom with out wobbling. I have enjoyed watching him light up as he told the nurses about seeing the AirMed helicopter. I know it isn't going to be long until he doesn't feel good again, so I am glad we got to enjoy today together.

I rode up in the elevator tonight with 3 other parents. I know that they are parents because of the type of name tags they wore. I was happy. I was smiling as I entered the elevator, excited to come play more games with my son. I took only a moment to watch the others as we rode together up to the 4th floor. I could see the woman in the pink dress, she was very well put together but I could see the stress she carried in her shoulders. I could see the worry she was feeling in the way she clenched her teeth. I couldn't help but notice the way she clutched her purse with white knuckles. Then I looked at the man next to her- I can only assume he is her husband. He was visibly exhausted. He stood there rubbing his eyes and rumpling his hair. Neither one of them made eye contact with anyone else in the elevator. I never heard them utter a word- but I didn't need to, just watching them I could tell that they are dealing with something big.

The other man in the elevator wore a wrinkled blue t-shirt. And he seemed to be in a big hurry. To be honest I didn't pay much attention to him because I couldn't stop looking at the woman. I could feel her pain. Perhaps as another mother I felt more compassion for her. But then again maybe I just felt more compassion because I could sense her anguish.

The elevator ride only lasted a matter of a few seconds but as I left the elevator I felt my mood change. I had tears in my eyes for those people. We are all in different situations but we are all at the children's hospital tonight cheering for our little ones. We all worry. We all love. We all feel alone at some point. We are all trusting strangers to take care of our babies.

Jackson is asleep now. He is on heavy medications to help control the nausea. He is my hero. He is doing things that amaze me. He is so strong and resilient.

There is a wonderful video that the American Childhood Cancer Association came out with called "Paul and the Dragon". It is a movie about a little boy that has cancer but imagines the cancer to be a big scary dragon. Jackson loves the movie and I think it has helped him understand better what is going on inside him with the chemo drugs, and the hair loss. Tonight I was drawing a picture of him fighting the cancer dragon on his board and he told me that his cancer dragon is already smaller- that he is already beating the cancer and that he is winning this fight. I believe him. I have to believe him. He is so strong. He is a fighter. He is my hero.


  1. You guys get that Dragon!!!! Love you SOOO much!!! Rooting for you every day!! Zion always remembers Jackson in his prayers. When I tell him to remember to bless Jakey in school he says and bless Jackson too!!! Jackson is our Hero too!!! Hugs and Kisses!!!

  2. I know I don't have to tell you what an amazing little boy you have. There is something special about him, we just love that little guy. Thinking of your family always!!!


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