Today was a good day as far as Jackson and how he was feeling. He isn't confined to his room, so we took a walk this morning down to the security department to get a name tag made up for him. He is so proud of his name tag, it says:
Jackson still had lots of energy, and because of the anti-nausea medications that he is on continually he has been feeling pretty good still.
Today was emotionally exhausting for me, but not necessarily from hospital stuff. Today was the funeral of my Opa (my Dad's father) and I wanted to go, but I needed Brian to be by my side. Our wonderful friend came up to the hospital and sat with Jackson while we went to the graveside services. It may not have been a big deal to her, but knowing that my son is being watched over by someone who loves him made it a little easier to leave him. He doesn't ever want to be alone, and for him to be okay with both Brian and I leaving was a HUGE deal. I never worried about Jackson while I was gone. I knew that Jill would take great care of him- how did I get so lucky to have such a great friend?
When we got back from the funeral we had Jackson get up and out of his bed and go out to the play area. We are trying really hard to keep him up and moving this round of chemo so that his muscles don't get so weak. We played a flying monkey game with Brian's dad, and then on the way back to the room we learned that Jackson can just stand on the IV pole and go for a ride.
I feel like every time I blog I get all mushy and talk about how lucky we are. Sometimes I wonder if I am too "Pollyanna" about everything. I know if I look at our situation I can either drown myself in self pity and anger or I can look at the big picture and know that I do not understand everything. I will never understand everything, but I can choose to look for the good in every situation. I learned this perspective from my parents and I hope to be able to teach it to my children. When you look for the good, you will surely find it.
Even though our situation is not ideal- our son is going through chemotherapy for a highly malignant brain tumor and my Grandfather's funeral was today- I can still look for the good. I can still find lots of good to celebrate. Today we celebrate that Opa lived a full life and that he is in heaven with his sweetheart. Today we celebrate that Jackson was feeling good. Today we celebrate that so far the chemotherapy side effects have been minimal. Today we celebrate in family and friends. Today we celebrate life and the time we get to share together.
See... I told ya, I get all mushy and "Pollyanna-ish".
Meh. Take it or leave it. But honestly it was good day although emotionally exhausting.