Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Random thoughts

Here I sit in the hospital. I have to wake Jackson up every two hours to go pee. It sounds simpler than it is- he is a very deep sleeper.

As I lay awake I have lots if random thoughts going through my head. I think about cancer, and our family, and our amazing support system. But I also think about silly things like punctuation and how I don't even know the definition of a verb.

I think about laundry and dishes. I think about Relief Society and my sister. I think about my fears and my hopes and plans for the future; not just the distant future but also the future that will happen on a few hours, days, and weeks. I think about how we used to take our good health for granted; we used to take so much for granted.

I have so many random thoughts going through my mind. If only I could sleep- but what's the point, the nurse is coming back in our room in 16 minutes for more meds and to make Jack pee again.

Last night was easy compared to the first night. Brian was here for the first night, and it sounds like it was complete torture for both Brian and Jackson.

Cancer sucks. Chemotherapy sucks. Bio Hazard urine and vomit definitely suck.


  1. I love your entire family so much I wish I could do more to comfort you. We are sending prayers, hugs and lots of love your way.

  2. I dido that.wish we could do something, anything to ease your pain. Your not alone, your family is always in our thoughts. We love you.

  3. I double dido the above statements. I'm so incredibly sorry for all that you're having to go through! Our Heavenly Father most definitely knows of the amazing strength you and your entire family has. We are constantly praying for you all and are here for whatever you may need from us! I can't even pretend to know what you're going through with that handsome little man of yours, but sadly, cancer is something I know of all too well. My Nana had it, my mom, and most recently, 2 anuts. IT SUCKS! If you ever need someone to talk to...I'm here. We love you guys!

  4. I want to just take this burden from you.... I love you....and I think of you every day...


Thank you for taking time to comment. I read each and every comment to Jackson and they brighten his spirits. He loves that you are supporting him through reading his blog.